Coaching
What Coaching Is and Is Not
Life Coaching is a profession which has been growing exponentially in recognition for the last decade. When I tell people that I coach they often react with excitement but then a puzzled look may cross their face and they sheepishly ask me what it is, exactly.
That’s Life Coaching. A lot of people sorta, kinda have an idea of what it is, mainly from the media and Reality TV shows. I believe, however, that its value can only be grasped when it is experienced.
It isn’t therapy. Nor is it consultation, mentoring or counseling. It should not be advice-based.
Coaching is not based on a mental health model which assumes that there is something about you which needs to be “fixed” or is dysfunctional. The modality of coaching which I use presupposes that my clients are perfectly capable of managing their own lives to manifest productivity, joy, creativity and peace at all times.
Then why don’t they?
Most problems that we humans encounter are not “How do I” problems, they are “Why can’t I” problems. We all know how to lose weight. You eat less and move around more. So, why is the diet industry second only to the Self-Help industry in billions of dollars generated a year?
The answer is that we may “know” what to do but we hamstring ourselves in a number of ways. We create limiting belief systems to keep ourselves risk-free and safe, we self-saboutage, we react out of fear, we carry baggage from the past, we don’t commit, we overthink things, we “cannot” make decisions, we don’t trust ourselves and - all too often - we don’t love ourselves enough.
Most people enter coaching because they are in some way dissatisfied with their life. They are anxious, confused, “stuck”, wanting to change but not quite able to do so. (Pretty much the same reasons they might enter therapy). It has been my experience that many people enter psychotherapy when they would be better served by a Coach.
Training
Coaching is a self-regulated profession in the U.S.. There are no legal state or national requirements prior to an individual professing him or herself to be a coach. Consequently, there are coaches out there who are coaches because they say they are and not because any other educational entity thinks that they have what it takes to coach.
In my opinion, coaches should undergo coach training. It is a profession which requires a particular aptitude and skill set. The techniques and principles can be learned by anyone , but once learned they must be put into supervised practice. Notwithstanding the fact that anyone who puts the time and money into coach training can learn the skills - not everyone can actualize or implement them.
I trained with the International Coach Academy and am an active member of the International Coaching Federation and a founding member of the International Association of Coaches.
How Does it Work?
Coaching can be conducted in person, by phone, in groups or even by e-mail.
I always have a complimentary consultation with a prospective client prior to scheduling a first session. This is necessary to make sure that the client is coachable (has a knowledge of the coaching process and is committed to working through it) and that we are a good fit as coach and coachee. This consultation is an excellent time to answer all general questions about coaching and to go over groundrules, policies and procedures.
If we decide to proceed together we will choose a time and day convenient to both of us for our coaching session. I will also ask the new client to complete a general information sheet as to any current issues, family situation, contact information, relevant medical or medication information etc. At this time, we will sign a coaching contract. This contract is generally open-ended, although I ask for a minimum four week commitment to give the process a chance to work.
Now, you almost certainly want to know what actually takes place in a coaching session.
What happens in a session?
My client completes and returns to me a Pre-Coaching summary 24 hours prior to each session. This gives indications of the past weeks achievements, challenges, issues and any assignments completed. The client will also give a heads-up as to any cogent issues they would like to raise in the session.
The actual work and process is different for each client, depending on the issues involved and the individual. I may ask questions, direct the conversation, offer interpretations of what I hear (which may be different from what the client believes they are communicating), seek to uncover hidden belief systems, and assist the client in putting structure and commitment in place so that they move forward on the issue at hand.
It may come as a surprise to you to learn that the most important skill a coach can employ is focused, active listening. A good coach can pick up on issues through nuance, tone, hesitation, resistance, choice of words and repetition of language
Frequently, I will suggest assignments and tasks. If it is appropriate, deadlines may be set, and accountability required by e-mail or phone.
Coaching does not work if it is limited to one hour a week. The coach and client design a partnership so that there is ongoing support throughout the week. To this end, all my clients have my cell phone number and are welcome to e-mail or call throughout the week if they need to.
After each session, I send the client a Re-cap of the session from my ears and from my notes.
I try to avoid long-term, open-ended coaching. Coaches should not have tenure. At some point the client should take their new skills and lessons learned and strike out on their own.
If you still have questions about Coaching, please contact me here.
