STAY

Much traditional coaching concerns itself with setting and achieving goals, building self-confidence, making plans and decisions.

All of these are action steps.  By definition, action steps take you away from where you are.  Nothing wrong with this, except when the answer to a particular situation lies right where you are here and now.  Which is usually the case.

An effective alternative to  “movement” coaching is based on the TIbetan meditation “Stay”.

It takes courage and stamina to stay where you are when every nerve and instinct is telling you to move, change something, look outside yourself for an answer or in some way move away from discomfort.

Only by being with the dis-ease and  only by allowing it to stay around long enough can you watch it fall away.  When you have the experience of seeing that the discomfort is transient and not a permanent state; when you realize that it will subside by and of itself if you don’t distract yourself from it  – it loses its power over you.

Sometimes the appropriate action to take is that of no-action. Sometimes the thing to do is nothing.

As Pema Chodron says “This perfect moment is the best teacher.  And lucky for you it’s right here with you all the time.”

So how can you be coached to do nothing?  Simple. Think of a metaphor of repetition.  Whatever works for you.

Buddhists use the metaphor of dragging an ox along a path.  The ox doesn’t want to go to market or to work.  He wants to meander off into the sweet grasses and weeds at the side of the path.  His owner keeps pulling him back onto the path over and over and over again.

It’s debatable whether the ox learns to stay on the path or whether he just tires himself out. or gives up.

It doesn’t matter.  What is true is that the paradox of “Staying” can move you forward, doing nothing can produce  possibility.

Fourth Annual New Year’s Resolution Special Offer

Back by popular demand, the Fourth Annual New Year’s Resolution special coaching program will launch on December 1st.

Reserve your slot now.

Don’t miss out. I only offer this three month, deep-discounted, laser coaching program through March 1st.

Go here for more details.

New Year’s Resolutions: How to make ‘em so you keep ‘em.

First, let’s demystify them. A New Year’s Resolution is nothing more than a commitment made at the end of the year. The only difference is that instead of making it to someone else you’re making it to yourself.

If you’ve had a hard time keeping Resolutions in the past take a long, hard look at how you keep personal commitments to yourself throughout the rest of the year. When only you and your bathroom mirror know about it do you keep your promises in a responsible fashion or do you find yourself re-negotiating, back-pedaling and making excuses? Read more

Bright Shiny Objects

How many bright shiny objects can you juggle at one time?

If you’re an entrepreneur or small business owner, you’re under siege from Bright Shiny Objects.

Every time you check your e-mail, open magazine, network or check out a competitor, you’re faced with a multitude of them.

They glimmer and twist in the light and you just have to have them.

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Procrastination. I’d love to, but…

When a good friend asked me to contribute a little something for her newsletter it seemed like a great idea. When I cleared the decks and sat down to write it seemed a great time to color-code my closet or whip up a crab casserole. As an enthusiastic writer, who has nevertheless had writing blocks in my life which have lasted longer than some World Wars, this business of avoiding doing something that I really want to do used to mystify me.

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