Ask the Coach: Vending Machine Model of Relationships
October 26, 2008
Question: My husband I fight all the time. I try to avoid them but he really knows how to push my buttons. He keeps picking fights with me and I try not to fall for it. But he really knows how to push my hot buttons. Any suggestions?
Answer: Here’s the vending machine theory of relationships.
Think of yourself as a Coke machine. Your husband puts a dollar in and a can of Coke rolls out. As long as he wants Coke he’ll always come to you because you deliver. Next time if he puts a dollar in and a bag of Skittles falls out he may find he needs to go elsewhere for his soft drinks.
If he can reliably pick a fight with you each time and you are coming through like a champ – where’s the incentive for him to stop?. This is more fun for him than back to back re-runs of “Cops”. Break the habit once or twice and he’ll lose interest in this game. Next time he picks on you smile sweetly and ask him what he’d like for dinner because you’re just running out to the store and you’d like to get him something special.
