Fourth Annual New Year’s Resolution Special Offer

Back by popular demand, the Fourth Annual New Year’s Resolution special coaching program will launch on December 1st.

Reserve your slot now.

Don’t miss out. I only offer this three month, deep-discounted, laser coaching program through March 1st.

Go here for more details.

New Year’s Resolutions: How to make ‘em so you keep ‘em.

First, let’s demystify them. A New Year’s Resolution is nothing more than a commitment made at the end of the year. The only difference is that instead of making it to someone else you’re making it to yourself.

If you’ve had a hard time keeping Resolutions in the past take a long, hard look at how you keep personal commitments to yourself throughout the rest of the year. When only you and your bathroom mirror know about it do you keep your promises in a responsible fashion or do you find yourself re-negotiating, back-pedaling and making excuses? Read more

Don’t get attached to your work.

Buddhists speak of a Noble Truth – that life is suffering. Not necessarily physical suffering – like when you have a bad back – but the ordinary everyday suffering that comes with being human. Call it suffering or call it sadness, disease or discomfort. The fact of the matter is that we all die, we age, we divorce, we drift apart from those we love. Our teeth fall out, we get wiped out in the stock market. We don’t get what we want and it makes us sad. We do get what we want and it makes us sad.

This is not suffering. This is just pain. Suffering has a dimension beyond pain.

We label things as problems and react. When we identify problems in our lives and react to them, we generally create suffering.

Read more

Top Ten Reasons to get up in the morning

1. Bedsores.
(When you hang around in one place for too long it starts hurtin’).
2. You’re needed.
(And you won’t know how or why unless you start the ball rolling).
3. You have much to offer.
(No matter how bad things are. Some of us are gurus; some of us are cautionary tales. We all give in one way or another).
4. Today’s the day.
(This is always true).
5. It saves energy.
(True. It takes less energy to jump out of bed than it does to lie there thinking about the reasons you shouldn’t).
6. You’re loved.
(I don’t know. That’s for you to figure out.)
7. Your dog needs to pee.
(So you don’t have a dog. Who else is counting on you to show up?)
8. Life is short.
(I believe yours is shorter than mine. But then, who doesn’t?)
9. There is much to learn.
(We’re waiting for you , Teach).
10. One day Death will come.
(He should find you busy. Make him wait.)

Top Ten Hints to Finding Reality

Top Ten Hints to Finding Reality

1. It’s way bigger than a breadbox and it’s in your visual field not between your ears.
2. It presents no problems only opportunities for action.
3. It has what you need when you need it.
4. It doesn’t require anything of you except your presence.
5. You can’t lose it.
6. You can’t fight it.
7. Everybody’s got one.
8. It’s never right or wrong.
9. It supports you whether you like it or not.




10. It’s right there under your nose!

Women Make Passes at Guys Who are Asses

This is it. The deep, dark secret that all women deny. We don’t want nice men.

We won’t tolerate them unless they’re related to us by blood or interviewing us for a job. Sure, they can buy us dinner every once in a while. But we don’t want to date them, sleep with them, or marry them. We say we do. We bemoan the fact to anyone who’ll listen that there are no “good guys” out there; that all men are animals, slobs or inconsiderate jerks. We say we’d take ten years off our lives to find a decent, kind honorable man.

We’re lying.

Why? Because we don’t like to admit that we willingly take shit in the name of love. It’s embarrassing and demeaning. We wonder what it says about our self-esteem that we stick with a guy who treats us badly. What would our mothers think?
Read more

Ask the Coach: Vending Machine Model of Relationships

Question: My husband I fight all the time. I try to avoid them but he really knows how to push my buttons. He keeps picking fights with me and I try not to fall for it. But he really knows how to push my hot buttons. Any suggestions?

Answer: Here’s the vending machine theory of relationships.

Think of yourself as a Coke machine. Your husband puts a dollar in and a can of Coke rolls out. As long as he wants Coke he’ll always come to you because you deliver. Next time if he puts a dollar in and a bag of Skittles falls out he may find he needs to go elsewhere for his soft drinks.

If he can reliably pick a fight with you each time and you are coming through like a champ – where’s the incentive for him to stop?. This is more fun for him than back to back re-runs of “Cops”. Break the habit once or twice and he’ll lose interest in this game. Next time he picks on you smile sweetly and ask him what he’d like for dinner because you’re just running out to the store and you’d like to get him something special.

Ask the Coach:To Move or Not to Move

Question: My boyfriend lives in Florida and is pushing me to move there. I’ve visited him and I hate where he lives. He can’t move because of work. I’m not happy without him but I don’t think I’d be happy in Florida. Do you think this one relationship can outweigh all the other drawbacks of uprooting myself and moving half way cross the country to a place I hate? I can’t seem to move one way or the other and I’ve been trying to make this decision for 5 months now.

Answer: Then don’t make this decision. Make another one. Chunk the situation down until you find a decision level you can live with. Can you make a decision to sublet your apartment and move there for a 90 day trial period? Can you make a decision to move there for a month? Can you make a decision to make a decision?

You’re hiding out in your indecision which has now become your comfort zone. The longer you hang out in your head and stay away from any kind of action the more difficult it will be for you to do anything. Take a shot. Nothing’s written in stone. You can always come back. Decision is not only the ending of something but the beginning of something else. Focus on the positive side of acting.

Run to the edge of a cliff and stop on a dime.

This is my one of my favorite Constructive Living maxims. It takes a little thinking about. It has that Zen-like obfuscation factor which can be irritating to some – but which I love.

It’s not a call to lemming-like suicide as you might think. Perhaps another C.L. maxim of a similar nature would shed some light. “Give and give until you say goodbye.” Or – as a man named Ecclesiastes once put it “To everything there is a season. And a time to every purpose under Heaven.” Meaning there is a time to run and a time to stop. When it’s appropriate to run you run flat out. When it’s appropriate to stop you stop.

I thought of this today as I was watching a Sunday morning political news show. By the time you read this ,we will either have a new President or a lot of fat cat lawyers will be very busy. I have strong opinions about whom I would like to be our next President. Whatever happens, however, I have let go of the outcome.
Letting go of an outcome is a tough concept for some people. They see it as not having faith in yourself; giving up; being negative. To admit that you may not get what you want may appear to be defeatist. In fact – nonattachment to the outcome of your actions is a strong peaceful position to take in the world. It all comes down to what is controllable and what is not.

My personal commitment to having my guy be the next President is within my control as are my actions which spring from that commitment. I can give money, time and effort. I can attempt to sway undecided voters and I can man the phones to get the vote out on November 4th. But the actual final national outcome of the election is not within my control.

So I give and give until it’s not appropriate to give anymore. I run until it would be unwise to continue running.

I see what Reality presents to me and I respond to it.

The Constructed Life Coaching Program

The Constructed Life Coaching Program is a simple, but very powerful, re-education process which will show you how to:

• Initiate action

• Manage change

• Make clearer decisions

• Reduce stress and anxiety

It is very different from conventional therapeutic Life Coaching, which may offer support and expert guidance in various life situations.

Constructive Living takes the contrarian viewpoint that it is a useless endeavor to go back over the past to understand ourselves, “work” with feelings, or “fix” ourselves by building self-esteem, boosting self-confidence and the like.

Because it is more of a lifestyle re-educational process, it provides for a complete shift of perspective and provides an easy methodology for dropping old, useless habits, belief systems and non-productive behaviors.

In many cases, it also has the power to reduce stress, help quiet the internal, chattering dialogue and still our anxieties.

Despite the proven and beneficial psychological effects the Constructive Living lifestyle provides, it is completely behaviorally oriented and rooted in common sense.

It will easily and immediately :

• Get you out of your head and into action

• Fuel your Creative Spirit and sharpen your vision

• Release you from the tyranny of your own feelings

• Show you how to eliminate negative internal chatter which you may be using to hold yourself back

• Free you to respond spontaneously and confidently to whatever arises

For a more comprehensive summary of Constructive Living, I encourage you to click on the hover pop-up on this site for an absolutely free e-book.

“Seven Simple Principles of Constructive Living”

If your computer blocks pop-ups or if you miss it, please e-mail me and I will be happy to send you a complimentary copy.

If, after reading it, you have any questions or need further information please contact me through this site.